No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.” – Eleanor Roosevelt
I love watching a movie with no expectations of how good it will be, then finding myself thinking about the movie and its message days later. If the movie made me laugh and entertained me in the process, even better.
A couple of weekends ago, I watched a movie called I Feel Pretty starring Amy Schumer. The movie is a comedy about a young woman named Renee Bennett (played by Schumer) who doesn’t consider herself to be good-looking or particularly capable. She makes little kids cry when she tries to play peek-a-boo with them at the grocery store, and she is overlooked by bartenders when trying to order a drink—all of which she attributes to her homely appearance. In short, she has low (possibly no) self-confidence. Then something crazy happens—she falls and hits her head, and when she wakes up, she looks in the mirror and sees herself as beautiful for the first time in her life. Suddenly, she holds her head high, isn’t afraid to talk to anyone, and believes she can accomplish anything.
What I like about this movie is that we, the audience, still see her the way she has always looked, and so does everyone around her. The people she meets still treat her the same way she has always been treated. Rather, what changes after she hits her head is how she perceives these interactions. When a man in line behind her at the dry cleaner’s talks to her, she thinks he is flirting with her and wants her number (she's beautiful, after all, so why wouldn’t he want her number?). And when he doesn’t outright ask her for a date, she figures he is just shy because she’s so beautiful. She enters a bikini contest in a tee shirt and shorts, interviews for a job she previously thought she could never get (and gets it), and makes suggestions at work, earning her a quick promotion. Later, when she learns her appearance never changed, it dawns on her—her life didn’t improve because of any change in her appearance. Her life improved because of a change in her attitude.
The world can be a cruel place. People’s judgment can often be harsh and immediate. The way we look, the clothes we wear, our accent, our religion, how many children we have, what kind of car we drive, where we live—all these things make an impression on the people we encounter, and the impression can be good or bad; it can be accurate or inaccurate. While we may do our best to present ourselves to others in the best way possible—dressing up for an interview or smiling at a stranger—we cannot control how people will perceive us. What we can control is how we react to their judgment.
If there are two ways to interpret someone’s words and actions—positively or negatively—why not view them in the best light? It’s a no-lose scenario. If we’re right, then we’ve avoided a misunderstanding that would have made us feel bad or resentful. If we are wrong, and that person actually did mean to hurt us, then we have kept them from succeeding by not allowing them to bring us down. But being able to interpret the actions of others toward us in the best light requires us to see ourselves in the best light, to recognize our own worth and have faith that others will see and recognize it as well. It’s not always an easy thing to do, but with the support of those who love us, and a little practice, we can all enjoy the benefits of feeling pretty.
- Kathryn Amurra