“Words mean more than what is set down on paper. It takes the human voice to infuse them with deeper meaning.” — Maya Angelou
My criminal law professor in law school (otherwise known as the scariest professor in the world) used to say “words have meaning.” This was his mantra—I think he said it at least once every class. What he meant is that lawyers must pay attention to each word in a statute or a judicial opinion because the writer of the document put that word there for a reason. Even punctuation matters—just one little comma can change the entire meaning of a sentence. (Think of this example: “Let’s eat, Grandpa!” versus “Let’s eat Grandpa!” One of these would have Grandpa running for the hills.)
I write because I love words. I love thinking about the meaning of words, how to weave them together in sentences and paragraphs to express an idea and elicit emotion. But what is equally interesting is how people interpret the words they hear or read. Because many times, the recipient of the words hears a message that is not quite the same as that which was intended by the speaker.
As the speaker, the person giving the words, it's sometimes hard to know how your message will be received. You can choose your words carefully, but you still don’t always know what those words will do. Why? Because despite the literal meaning of words, words are subject to interpretation. It’s like holding a soft pillow, intending to gently place the pillow behind someone’s head to make them more comfortable, only to have that person run away because they believe you want to smother them with it.
My criminal law professor was right—words do have meaning. Some of the meaning is inherent in the words themselves, as chosen and put together by the author or speaker, but some is attributed to the words by the recipient. The recipient will understand the words based on their experience, their mood, their relationship with the speaker, and what they think they deserve to hear (good or bad). It’s what makes words so powerful, and, sometimes, so dangerous.
We can’t always control how someone will interpret our words. We can do our best to express our intent clearly, but it is ultimately up to the recipient how they will take it. Conversely, when we receive someone’s words, not only do we need to know what the words themselves mean, but we also need to think about what the other person is really trying to say to us. As difficult as it may be, sometimes we need to set aside our first response, our gut reaction, and take a moment to consider the whole situation. Because sometimes what another person is telling us is quite different from what we are telling ourselves.
- Kathryn Amurra