“I trust if your life is right, the right things will happen at the right time. If the chords are in harmony inside, I think other things will happen in the same way. That sounded highfalutin' to me once, but I believe it now.” –Gene Wilder
I knew from a young age that I wanted to get married in May because my parents’ anniversary is in May, and so I did. I was in a different state from my husband this year on my anniversary, at a conference for work, but it was still a special day.
One of the many fond memories I have of my wedding day is the speech the best man, my husband’s stepbrother, gave at our reception. Though I don’t remember it word for word, the gist of it was that my husband found just the right person at just the right time in his life (that would be me). I think about that often, about how timing is everything, and about how timing is usually not something we can control. I’m all about taking ownership and working hard and making things happen instead of sitting around and waiting for things to come, but I have lived long enough to know that sometimes people enter our lives at a particular time for a particular purpose. They help us in a way no one else can, perhaps in a way we didn’t even know we needed. And sometimes, when that purpose is fulfilled, they go out of our lives, and we move on.
Strangely enough, I’m not talking about romance here. I did meet my husband at the right time in my life, but he’s still serving out his sentence—I mean, fulfilling his purpose—and that should take ‘til death do us part. But other people come and go from our lives, and I tend to believe their entrance and exit is part of a plan, some grand design meant to teach us something and make us better people.
I think of the many teachers I’ve had throughout the years. They were such a big part of my life for the time I was in their classes, and then they were gone. I think of the friends I had growing up that I haven’t talked to for years. If I saw those friends now, would we get along as well as we did back then? They served an important role in my life when we were kids, and hopefully I did for them as well, but that time is over. We are different people now, and we need different things than we did when we were younger.
Even my children came into my life when I needed them most. I’ll always think of my youngest as my consolation—I found out I was pregnant with Number Three just a couple of months after my mother passed away. Her arrival brought me joy in the midst of my despair. She came when I needed her most.
College friends, co-workers, even extended family—our relationships with them ebb and flow. We change addresses, we move to a new job, we enter a new phase in our lives, and sometimes this means the people in our lives change, too. But I don’t see this as a sad thing or something to be mourned. As long as we appreciate the impact others make in our lives for whatever time we have together, and we, in turn, have a positive effect on those around us, then we can dwell in the hope that whatever we need, at any stage in our lives, it will be provided to us. We will meet exactly the right people at exactly the right time because we are where we’re meant to be.
- Kathryn Amurra